Aries (March 21-April 19): Take heed, my bravest warrior and build a large cage to trap the most horrid of creatures. Virgo will be bringing a friend with her this weekend and they might be stocked by a Jabberwocky.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): I would like to remind you the dangers of going off alone, not everyone is as understanding as I.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Please watch out for Leo. Lions are such timid creatures underneath all their lovely locks.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): You, my dear, will be in very high demand this week as the others will need your grace and compassion.
Leo (July 23-August 22): Do not worry, Leo darling, I will not let anything harm you.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): On Saturday you’ll be visited by someone from the opposite side. Do not be alarmed, that person will mean you no harm.
Libra (September 23-October 22): You have been unsually quiet this last week. That makes me suspicious. This week, you will be watched by my precious little Jabberwocky.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): This week someone will give you information that you might not expect. That information is for me and me alone. If you tell anyone else I will have your noggin.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): You have always looked beyond the norm to seek answers. So this week search for a way to fight for what I tell you to fight for. You will receive you instructions later this week.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Your normal contentedness will hold you back this week. Focus on a problem and cut your way through it. I suggest going for the head; they pop off quite nicely.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): This week you will find that your help is needed. Help only Sagittarius and Capricorns in their battles and you will survive to see spring break. After that, you can do as you please.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): This week, my peon, you will find yourself over sleeping. If you keep your head down it won’t be chopped off.
